Inventions
I have invented a few things. When one thinks of inventions, one thinks of patenting. In “The Art of Invention” by Steven J. Paley published in 2010, a patent cost a minimum of $4,500, I despair of making enough money from any invention of mine to make such an expense worthwhile, but inventing is fun. I don’t even know if my ideas are original. Anyway, by promulgating them, I am putting them in the public domain. If someone else makes a pile from any of them, I will simply be jealous.
My favorite invention is a moat swimming pool, like castle moats of yore but not as grand. It would encircle one’s house, with a bridge over it for access to the front door, and with a passing lane in a limited portion of it. I believe that this would accommodate more swimmers per unit area than a conventional pool, and obviate the need to turn around at the end of a lap. Just keep swimming!
My second invention is a novel flat rooftop for suburban houses. Such a house conventionally has a sloping roof, which promotes drainage of rain water into the eaves, whence it is conducted to a downspout and then, usually, into a limited portion of the lawn. This necessitates that awkward space called an attic, which in my experience leads to bumping of the head and which traditionally is a locus of cobwebs. If there are deciduous trees nearby, their leaves may clog the eaves, leading to spillage of the water willy-nilly onto the space below. One solution to the leaf problem is to install a Gutterhelmet or similar device (www.gutterhelmet.com), which covers just enough of the eaves to allow water but not the leaves to flow into them. I have found this to work very well.
Anyway, my alternative solution comprises a special flat roof, more typical of urban buildings like apartment houses, but adapted to the suburbs. I envision a welcoming space, suitable for a terrace, patio or garden; all the while obviating the need for an attic. The floor is a flat grating under which a “sub-roof” that slopes to a downspout at a chosen point, via which water is directed perhaps to a rain barrel, where it can be saved for later use such as on lawns, or plants. The leaves can be swept off at one’s convenience. There are no eaves. I can’t wait to sunbathe on this roof!
Last and maybe least, and surely the simplest invention, is hardly an invention at all, especially if you have a toilet with a round seat. The idea is just to turn it sidewise. However, an oval seat is more comfortable for most. If you alter it so that the tank is at your side rather than behind you, its top can serve as a surface for such things as reading matter, an extra roll of toilet paper and a container of flushable wipes. What a joy!
So that is my list of inventions. If you get rich from them, more power to you! (I guess.)
